Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Great Quotes Chris Rock

Great Quotes Chris Rock - Best Quotes By Chris Rock,Funny Quotes Chris Rock,Jokes Chris Rock,Love Quotes Chris Rock.

Great Quotes Chris Rock

Great Quotes Chris Rock
  • "Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council."
  • "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon._"
  • "They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy."
  • "George Bush hates midgets."
  • "Have you been watching American Idol? They have Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul judgin' the singin. Paula Abdul?! Gettin' Paula Abdul to judge a singin' contest is like gettin' Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest!"
  • "Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystander ."
  • "There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments."
  • "Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing."
  • "Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else."
  • "Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!"
  • "Aw, man, they gave 'em the Oscar on stage. Next they're gonna give the Oscars in the parking lot. It'll be like a drive-through Oscar lane. You get an Oscar and a McFlurry and keep on moving."
  • "[Ask Chris Rock how he discovered the young actor who would play him at age 13 for his new sitcom,] Everybody Hates Chris, ... I was at Michael Jackson's house, leaving - I'm in the driveway and this kid runs out: 'Wait! Save me!'"
  • "It's the worst disaster we'll ever see, ... I'm here to use whatever celebrity I have to help bring attention."
  • "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon.’ Need I say more?"
  • "You don't pay taxes - they take taxes."
  • "A man is only as faithful as his options"
  • "I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot......"
  • "It's got some heart, but it's got hard jokes. I care more about the hard jokes than the heart."
  • "Well, now's the time for you to do something for them. Do it for the children who have been left without parents, for the sick that have been left without medicine, and for the families left without a place in the world to call home."
  • "Ja Rule is not Tupac"
  • "No Sex in the Champagne Room"
  • "Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars."
  • "If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she’s damn near fourty."


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