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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
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